They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
– Philip Larkin
There are good days, and then there are bad days. Today is not a good day.
W: Seriously, why are there so many ugly people around?
M: Check the bible lah. Maybe they explain it in there.
W: I bet the whole chapter is like, “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.”
M: God is a funny girl.
Mum: There’s a cantaloupe outbreak in Colarado.
Dad: There is an outbreak of Listeria bacteria but you could easily get the same from watermelon or any fruit on the ground.
Mum: Does that mean we should stop eating watermelons?
Dad: The risks are low. It would be useful to wash fruits with a mild bleach solution.
I think my eyes rolled so far back that they just spun around in my eye sockets. Sometimes I really think that my parents fear so many things that they barely even enjoy life. It makes me want to stuff my face with cantaloupes.
P/S: I think Miss Japan is really a funny girl. She reminds me of my friend Scarlet. I think I would actually enjoy hanging out with her. Plus I would get such a huge kick out of making her say the word “limit” all the time.
This is just too good to not post. My friend is a time traveller.